The Pain of Rebirth

Taken out of my element
Elementary truths of myself being shattered
my own self-image battered
by this new kind of self

the gold is corrupted
and corrodes into a nature
unrecognizable.
I've become an alchemist of old
only reverse
as if its goal wasn't already perverse
enough
I bought into to the lie
that ended with this curse.
Whats worse
is that I disregarded your warning
and met admonisment with scorning.

now I slink back to the altar
and you knew that I would falter,
yet you let me leave your hands
I planned to gain what I desired.
But like a child playing with fire,
OWWW! I burnt myself real bad
then went running back to Dad.

Now you teach me real creation
"leave synthetic replication behind
because from My mind the universe
was concieved."
You show me what I thought I needed
wasn't vital anyway.
And brought me out out of the confusion
of worldly delusion.
losing the vain attempts to gain
for myself what is already free:

what you won for me.

And for my sake
You cast me in the flame of trial
pain grips my flesh yet I'm
torn between the will to change
so that I don't disgrace your name
and the fear of facing fire
for its no disire of mine to burn

You say I still have much to learn


True My spirit here is thriving
But the Adam within me writhing, screaming, anguish
Still You're present in the furnance


And stay there 'til I learn this:


I the more YOU will, the less you won't.
The more you TRY, the less you don't.

If you really want to win,
and break the chains of sin.

You let the fire burn the chaff
and watch the phoenix rise from ash.

You let the silver be refined
Lord, Let your will be done, not mine.